Self-Sorting through the Shitshow, YouTube is an Unpaid Internship Part II
It's been well over a decade since I signed up for YouTube but only a little over a month since I began my quest.
What quest? Is it an online game? Where's the sign up? What are the rules? Who's on the leaderboard?
Whoa. Slowdown a second. Let's back up a few paces.
(Dramatic pause.)
When I joined YouTube, I can't recall whether it was before or after the Google takeover..what I do remember is that it was a totally different landscape than now.
People posted the most random moments, thoughts, conspiracies, hobbies, and it was fun. Like walking through an open market on a warm spring morning..you never knew what you were going to spot or what was going to catch your eye and make you pause for a moment, maybe even buy something or decide to visit again next week. It was all fresh and all your choice, all unique, all relaxingly (yes, I know that's not technically a word but now it is because I said so) informative. A pleasure to the senses and the mind.
And then, the takeover. The likes, the clicks, the views, the engagement farming and finally the ultimate prize..monetization. Now YouTube is like a nightmarish rodeo where the clowns are constantly juggling for coins that keep dangling higher and higher above the fence. Did I mention that you can't even see the best entertainment anymore, because that's hidden around back somewhere behind a big tarp? Someone (clears throat), I mean, something, somewhere decides that you didn't need to see it because you wouldn't have any fun looking at it anyway. Doesn't matter if I will or won't, show it to me and let me decide.
So that's the quest (part of it). To decide for myself what my entertainment will be. To walk the market and pick out my own fruits of information and laughter, of intrigue and happiness. To let my human mind choose the next play button.
I don't have watch history on. Youtube may know my interests but it has to fake like it doesn't. Good, make the algorithm sweat a little to try to appease me. In the meantime, my human mind has to exercise the critical thoughts of deciding what I want to view in that moment. I'm forced to relate to myself, to have an internal conversation with myself, about my likes, my feelings, my interests, my hobbies, my need to knows, my almost forgot abouts. I have to get to know me. That's the important part..a computer shouldn't be learning me, I should be learning myself. After all, isn't that the essence of humanity, to ponder thyself.
Personally, I'm behind the tarp, and a long way from a million views, but that's okay. It gives me time to ponder my point and my purpose for even posting anyway. To decide on my own achievements and successes, to find the voice that I want to speak with, the fun I want to share, the bits of info I find intriguing, to create my own grand prize. If it has to hide behind the tarp, so be it, at least it will be my mind that decided that's where my peace is and where my mission is centered, my mind that chose the creative content, not the machine. Now, I'm writing the rules of the internship.
Wow. That was deep. On to my day. Thanks for reading. Visit my blog.
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